"Where do Babies Come From?"
“Where did I come from?” “How did the baby get in your tummy?” “How are babies made?” These are questions that can make parents freeze and stumble around for words. But it doesn’t have to be that way. This is a question to celebrate! It means that your child’s natural curiosity and engagement with their world has led them to ask a fundamental question - “How did I come into being?” Instead of running away because you’re not ready to have “the talk,” just step right into a conversation that will continue in many bursts over the years. Talashia’s parents had a philosophy that went something like this, “If you’re old enough to ask the question, you’re old enough for an honest answer.” That approach led to many little conversations and a broad understanding of sexuality. Sex is not gross. The various ways babies come into being are not shameful. God formed our inward parts, God knitted us together in our mother’s womb. The start of a life is a beautiful part of our understanding of God’s call to be co-creators with God. As our son said the other day, “I’m 50% Mommy, 50% Daddy, and 100% God! Because you’re the ones who made me!”
Read It
Psalm 139:13
For it was you who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
For it was you who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Do It
When the ask the questions, answer them. Usually if a four-year-old asks, “How did that baby get in Mommy’s tummy?” they aren’t looking for a long technical explanation of sex. Start simple; “Something called an egg from Mommy and something called a sperm from Daddy came together to create something new. God helped that new something grow in Mommy’s uterus, and it became you.” Then let their questions lead you. They might (like I did as a four-year-old) ask tons of questions that lead to a full-on explanation. Or they might (like our son did) say, “Oh. Okay,” and move on, to bring up another question another day. Remember, you don’t need to know everything, just be one step ahead of them!
A temptation is to use object lessons. Don’t. Young children don’t have the skill of transference, so if you tell them sperm is like a seed, they will think it’s a literal seed. Just use the real words, even if they make you squirm.
Bring God into it. God gave us the gift of bodies, the gift of sexuality, and the gift of life. God is working on every step of the way.
An important part of healthy sexuality is having positive self-image. In “Wonderfully Made,” a past Building Faith practice, we give a few ideas on how to begin to cultivate that.
A temptation is to use object lessons. Don’t. Young children don’t have the skill of transference, so if you tell them sperm is like a seed, they will think it’s a literal seed. Just use the real words, even if they make you squirm.
Bring God into it. God gave us the gift of bodies, the gift of sexuality, and the gift of life. God is working on every step of the way.
An important part of healthy sexuality is having positive self-image. In “Wonderfully Made,” a past Building Faith practice, we give a few ideas on how to begin to cultivate that.
Pray It
God, thank you for forming me in my mother’s womb. Thank you for creating me in your image. Amen.
Explore It
Child Sexual Development
Sexuality: God’s Gift - a good theological framework for human sexuality with contributions by many experts.
What Makes a Baby? and Sex is a Funny Word, two very age-appropriate books for the littlest ones.
Who has what? and the a few other books in the same series. Accessible and appropriate books to read with your child.
Have teenagers? Try Spare Me ‘The Talk’. There is a guys’ version and a girls’ version.
Sexuality: God’s Gift - a good theological framework for human sexuality with contributions by many experts.
What Makes a Baby? and Sex is a Funny Word, two very age-appropriate books for the littlest ones.
Who has what? and the a few other books in the same series. Accessible and appropriate books to read with your child.
Have teenagers? Try Spare Me ‘The Talk’. There is a guys’ version and a girls’ version.
