JUNE: WALKING HUMBLY IN CHILD-DIRECTED ACTIVITIES

Micah 6:8  (King James Version)
​He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?
​Read It: Micah 6:8​
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Concept:      Welcome to summer!
Whether or not your work life changes during the summer, it brings a change of pace. Summer can be a time of cramming in all the activities. Camp! Swimming lessons! Playdates! Vacations! Special excursions! Summer bucket list! Those things are all valuable. But summer can also be a time for allowing a slower pace of life in your household. For pausing and following the curiosity and desires of the children.
​Walking humbly means that sometimes we stop directing all the activities and let children lead the way. Let them show us God’s delights.
​Pray It      God, Open us to the delights of your world. Amen
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Do It:​
  • Summer Routine: Routine is healthy and helpful! Children do need some structure. Sometimes having a simple routine can help us also prioritize following the child’s lead on a regular basis. Here are some ideas:
    • Start each day with a “high five” (thank you, Maggie Harmon!). Have five things a child does to participate in the teamwork of being a healthy household. Depending on their developmental level, these five things could range from re-stocking toilet paper rolls to scrubbing a counter (2-year-olds can do this one!) to spending 30 minutes with a book. Once the five things are completed, give the child a high five.
    • Plan 30 minutes of “Delights Time” into each day. During this time, the adult follows the child’s lead in discovery and play.
    • Mindfulness practice: Choose a spot by a window or outside. Spend 2-5 minutes there together each day. While there, notice what you see, hear, feel and smell. End your time each day with a simple prayer (“Thank you, Creator, for this day.”). This is a simple structure within which your child can lead in observation.
  • Weekly Delights: Let the children in your household choose one delight for each week. One thing to do together, or food to eat. Set the parameters you need to as a household, whether that has to do with budget or location or time, and then let the children lead the way.
  • Shifting toward a child-led mindset: Our children spend much of their days in adult-led activity. They play on sports teams, take lessons, go to school, and get directed by their parents and caregivers constantly. We are teaching them, and this is good work! And this also makes it hard for us to walk humbly with the child into their ideas. We usually have ideas for how they could do things more easily, more effectively, less messily… Letting the child lead means letting the child fail occasionally, and that’s hard. Choosing times of the day or certain spaces to be child-directed can be helpful. Then take a breath, ask God for patience, and enter your child’s time with curiosity instead of judgment. 
    • An example of what this can look like: When my oldest child was about 18 months old, we began what I called the Daily Bubble Trek. We would begin on the porch, with a small bottle of bubbles. My son would lift the wand for me to blow a few bubbles, then we would make our very slow way down the steps, around the house, and into the backyard. Along the way, he would have me blow some more bubbles and occasionally dump some liquid. Eventually he would begin adding to the bubble container instead of emptying it. In would go berries, grass, worms, and any other treasure he found. Occasionally, he would encourage me to add to his collection. Sometimes he would shake it, sometimes he’d stir it, sometimes he’d sit down and jabber some stories to it. At some point, we’d end up back on the porch. Then he would go to the railing, unceremoniously dump the contents over the edge, hand me the bottle, and ask me to refill it. So that we could do it all again the next day. This took anywhere from 10-60 minutes everyday, and lasted about three months. I’ll be honest, sometimes I was bored out of my mind. But I’m glad I put the smartphone down and joioned him for those peaceful daily treks of discovery and delight.
​​​​Explore it:   A Note from Tami
     In many ways children have very little control in their lives. They need to follow the direction, boundaries, and expectations of adults most of the time. Child directed play (CDP) gives them a chance to gain skills in being self-directed while being in control for a little while.  
     For many of us, engaging in child directed play (CDP) doesn’t come naturally. We tend to just let children play on their own (and those independent play times are also valuable) while we are busy with our adult tasks and then take charge when we stop our other work to play with them. Even when we try CDP, we catch ourselves taking over. If we were to be this directive with adults, they would see us as being really bossy and controlling!  Children feel seen, heard, and empowered in a healthy way when we share the control and power through CDP. 
     Children aren’t the only ones to benefit from this play. It is fun to observe their creativity and interests and it strengthens the bond between our child and ourselves. It wakes us up to the miracle of childish delights and deepens our respect for this person God has created.
     Here are some additional resources:
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