FEBRUARY: CHESED (STEADFAST LOVE)

Read It    Micah 6:8  (King James Version)
He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?
Picture
Concept: There’s an important word in Micah 6:8, and we’re going to unpack it this month! The word that is translated as “love mercy” or “love kindness,” among other phrasing, is actually the Hebrew word chesed. Chesed is used 248 times in the Hebrew Bible, and is arguably one of the most important words, one of the keys to understanding God and humanity. This month, we’re going to explore chesed and ask, “How do we parent/care for little ones with chesed at the center?”
Background on Chesed: Chesed pops up all over in the Hebrew Bible!
  • Sometimes it’s used to describe the unconditional, active love and mercy God has for humans and creation
  • Sometimes it describes how humans are supposed to love and treat each other.
  • It’s the love Naomi shows to her mother-in-law, Ruth in the Book of Ruth.
  • “God’s steadfast love endures forever” in the Psalms - that’s “God’s chesed endures forever.”
  • Anytime you see “mercy” or “loving kindness” or “steadfast love,” it’s probably chesed
  • Chesed is translated multiple ways because there’s not an English equivalent.
  • It’s active and forgiving and compassionate - that’s where “mercy” comes in
  • It never gives up, it’s unconditional - “steadfast love”
  • It’s not just something that’s felt. It comes out in actions and attitudes. From the inside out and from the outside in.
Pray It
God, you love us with chesed. You love us forever. You forgive us. You are kind to us. Help us love each other the same way that you love us. Amen.
Picture
Do It ​
  • Make chesed your family’s word for the month - or for the year! As I talked with families in my congregation about this month’s practice, they wondered about the power of using the Hebrew word and letting it have its full meaning instead of having to use lots of English words for it. A bilingual family talked about how rich it is for their children to have meaning systems beyond the English language. So use chesed, and let it take on its own meaning in your household.
    • Write it on a piece of paper and put it in the middle of a bulletin board. Put a couple pieces of paper around it with descriptors - “steadfast love,” “loving kindness,” and “mercy.” Invite members of your household to pin examples of chesed to the board when they encounter them. Maybe that’s with pictures, written stories, or tangible reminders, like the wrapper from the Snickers bar siblings shared as they reconciled after a quarrel.
    • Put it on a piece of posterboard, decorate it, and keep it in a common space as a visual reminder to practice chesed.
  • Showing Chesed: Chesed might look different for different members of your household. Part of living family life with chesed at the center means discovering what feels like steadfast love, mercy, and kindness to each other. Discover this through curiosity and observation, then make a concerted effort this month to show chesed to each other. This also involves letting others show chesed to you. Here are some ideas:
    • Find or make a little box. Each day, write a note or draw a picture for the family member to discover when they go to bed each night.
      • I did this with my younger son when he was six. I often needed to read the notes aloud to him, and I got to watch him beam with joy as he heard my words. After about a week, when I went to write a new note I would find my old note there, with, “I love you, Mommy” scrawled on it.
    • Cook someone’s favorite meal or baked treat.
    • Play with your child. Let them guide the play!
    • Go on an adventure of the other’s choosing.
    • Spend time just being in the same room, with devices put away.
    • Do an activity of their choosing together - playing a sport, making music, baking…
    • Step into what the other loves to do, and invite them to step into what you love to do.
    • When a child asks if they can help or can do something with you, the answer is always yes. Find a way!
      • My sister shows love by helping. When she was a young child and my parents were putting up corn, they let her help by separating the corn kernels. She was a teenager when she learned this is not a job that needs to be done.
    • Listen. And when someone wants to listen to you, let them.
  • Love them as they are, and be attentive to the language you use. Give affirmation that is specific to the person. Note that what you do - and do not - affirm in a child teaches what you value. And this takes more intentionality than one might think.
    • When my younger son was about four, we were with a little girl who was about his age. An adult in the room, in the space of about two sentences, told the little girl she was so pretty and told my son he was so strong. My son innocently asked, “Am I pretty, too?” Kids listen. Be intentional.
​​​Explore it:   A Note from Tami
  • Chesed - Each one of us is so far from being perfect. I’m thankful that God’s steadfast love and mercy for me is not based on my performance or perfection. This verse challenges us to offer children (and others) love that is NOT just based on their performance.
  • How do I show mercy to a child? This kind of love requires us to accept them as they are rather than trying to change them. Being loved and accepted as they are actually frees them to grow and change into their best selves. 
  • Following are a few resources that provide further insights: